Sea of Love

So on Friday we drove up from central NJ to northern NJ via the turnpike so we could catch the bus taking most of the wedding party from the hotel they were staying at to New York for the rehearsal at the church. It felt like the most useless thing ever. I think that for Friday Sam and I should have just went to New York and walked around for ourselves.

Sam is the groom's cousin on his father's side, so there's mostly Puerto Rican for that. But the bride is i-t-a-l-i-a-n. Like her family came here straight from Italy, and relatives flew in from there, some not speaking English at all. We ate at Lazarra's Restaurant after the rehearsal, and it was pretty good. New York is such an amazing city. There is SO MUCH. It does seem so different from all other cities though because you feel like you're in your own little world below the tall buildings. And you don't have to know how to drive, hahaha. I'm so jealous of people that live there. How do they do it? Everything is so expensive. $2,000 a month rent for a studio apartment. That's more than I make in a month. Minimum wage is probably higher in NY, granted, but still. Sam bought a pack of cigarettes there for $14, about what he makes in an hour serving.

After the wedding the next day, we went to Park Ridge, NJ for the reception. We didn't drive around too much there, but I got to see all the houses and they are GORGEOUS. Like, the type of neighborhood that movies depict suburbia as. But the super-close neighboring town, Bloomfield, has such a shitty downtown area for those beautiful houses. Hopefully there's a portion of the town that I'm not seeing. There was an open bar at the reception and I got drunkkkkk. I had to, because I had to occupy my mind with something when Sam was out dancing on the floor, something that I don't do. But I told him that I would willingly dance to a song with him if he requested "Sea of Love" by Phil Phillips because the DJ at that moment said she was taking them. So more songs play and mine didn't come up. Sam decided it was time to leave, so we started saying goodbyes. About a quarter way through the goodbyes the song came on and I got so excited and I told him, "come on, let's go in there and dance" (at this time we're out on the patio where tons of his relatives are). He refused. So on the whole way home I cried lightly. He just didn't care at all how much it would have meant to me. The song is now bad luck twice. For a little more background on my relationship with Sam, during my freshmen year of college he left me for this one girl. About two months in, I go up to his town during spring break and we decide to get together again. But it felt completely different. I knew he didn't want to be with me, but I still tried. But stupidly I start listening to the song "Sea of Love" on like repeat because I was so happy he was finally with me again. Then we break up like two weeks later, for him to date that one girl for 3 more months.

We're about to travel back home in an hour or two. Hopefully everything goes well.